how to get in the door...... with the chicas

ok dooders (guys) read and take notes .......... ladies .............. if i say something you concur with ........... give me an amen .............. if you know something specific works better on you ..... feel free and leave your comment ...................here we go .....................

this is not a list of places of where to find chicas .......... they are at the library........... wal mart.......... the clubs ..the bar ..the neighborhood gas station...everywhere ......

start thinking positives......... i love myself ...... i love others... things like that ....... before you go hunting for a date .. and actually prove it to yourself that you love yourself...............if you look in the mirror and notice that wal mart clothing is more fashionable than your 1991 apparral in your closet then go for an up grade ............ type in designer denim into google................ give yourself an upgrade ............. get them at second hand stores so you are paying only 10% of the actual price.......... now you are ready ............

you have 15 seconds from when the girl at the bbq, pool party , dessert party, acoustic night at your friends house, or movie night at muertes........ 15 seconds ........... from when she sees you ............... if you let the time go by and she looks around and sees you starring back at her ..... now you are dubbed the creepy guy who was mentally undressing her in your mind ............ dont waste time .............

there are a couple different types of girls out there .......... imma share some thought on the ones that you will find at these types of engagements..........

the the princess : the princess is the type of girl who has had loads of dooders following her since grade school........... in high school they made a movie about these girls ....... the mean girls ....... these girls are treated as royalty from every guy out there because the stupid guys think ........... ("oh........... shes hot..... i need to be extra nice to her and treat her like every other guy does ............ if im nice and give her my lunch money that she is asking for ................. maybe she'll talk to me again").................. WRONG ............ you are being used ..........this type of girl has a self image problem .......... thinking she can get anything she wants because ........ she has a nice rack ....... or she can because guys everywhere bow down to worship her ........her world is her toy...................

the ugly duckling : this is a process ........... this girl growing up ......... got teased cause maybe she didnt have any boobs in middle school or high school ....... or maybe she didnt grow into her ears ..........or her nose .............. maybe it took her longer to lose her "baby fat".............. now this girl is freaking gorgeous ............ but still has the personality of the ugly duckling ............ this girl is a diamond ........a gem .............. she might think she is ok ............... but not realize everyone around her thinks she is a 9 or a 10............... these girls have great personalities ............ but you dont know til you talk to them ........

with both of these types of girls ............... its hard to decipher the difference by the body language if you are not used it reading the signs ............ but just talking to the girl ............... you'll tell ........ you'll get a vibe in the first 30 seconds .......... just listen to what she is saying and how she is saying it ...............stop trying to think of what to say to impress her ........ just respond to what she is saying but let it flow naturally ........


ok ok.......... example of dealing with the princess type : lets say you are at a halloween party ........... and she is a sexy angel or bunny or something like that ...... and she is in a group where there are 3 other girls ...... talking over the home made dry iced rootbeer ........... she catches your ninja turtle outfit as you grab some chips and salsa and you join the group focusing the not so hot girl dressed as the ghostbuster ....start up a conversation on how her back pack works tell her about the last haunted house you went to ........ and tell her she should go to a haunted house dressed as a ghost buster ........ say something stupid to get the convo going ...while you are focusing on this girl....the hottie angel is wondering why you arent talking to her ........ she wants attention.........so.. then say speaking of ghosts ...... then turn to the hottie angel and say ..... yeah you have some sorta salsa on your wings or something ........ ( throw her out of her element ...you never want to have you enter their space in their zone .........) then continue talking ghostbusters then when angel girl realizes there is no salsa on her wing ...... she'll say hit you on the arm or push you and call you a jerk .......... look at the ghostbuster girl ...... ask .... wow is she always this rude point to the angel ........ continue talking to ghostbuster ....start to end the convo........ then right before angel turns to walk away .............. say hey ........ salsa ............. then strike up that convo .............so ............. i didnt know you were into star wars with your princess la-ya outfit ........... (its an angel outfit ).......... seriously where did you get that from ........ my friend such and such was looking for a costume like that ............ blah blah blah ................

ok so guys what did we learn about this ?................ by the way i just pulled this out of my back pocket ...... i made it up ........... but thats what you have to do........ you need to have your improv up to par ................ it works trust me ............. thats for the princess ...............



ok first off "men".......there are lots of rules to follow ...............rules: if you aren't currently dating this particular girl dont tell her you think she is extremely beautiful every 2 minutes ................ i dont know what the hell you are thinking .......... guys ! you actually think you are gonna get to eventually go out with this girl if you tell her the exact same freaking thing she hears every day of her life ?................ you ever heard of a girl complaining that guys are only asking her out cause they are starring at her chest the entire night ?........ yeah i hear it all the time ...... come on man be original ................ put yourself in her shoes ........ you are a girl .......... hot ....... and great personality .............. you get asked out 3 to 4 times per week ........... and the guy says .....( ok babe ..i thought we could go bowling ........... then to a movie or if you are hungry ...... i made reservations for this resturant ........ after .......... i thought we can do the door step scene where i spent $40- $50 bucks on the date ......... imma get a $45 dollar kiss outta you ....................) come on .............. really ? guys .............. dont be like every guy out there ........... if you know shes the type of girl that gets the awkward honks while shes joggin down the street ........... dont be over bearing and say ..... wow you are just so cute i want to kiss your lips ......................... holy crap man ............ shes gonna mace you in the freaking face for being creepy ..............what you gotta do is treat all girls pretty much the same way ......... you can't tell me you have a hard time talking to the cute girl and you can walk straight up the average girl and strike up a convo......... it's all a freaking game .......... it's all a freaking game ............. it's all a freaking game .......... got it ?........... in monopoly if you make the worng move ......... you do not pass go ....... do not collect $200 and you are stuck in jail with all the other sweaty loser guys who are too over bearing or stalkerish .. and on the flip side ..... too cocky ............. dooder .......... remember how in high school everyone that wasnt a football player .............. kinda sorta wished they were cause ........... we always saw them with the hot chicks ?............... ha ........... well dooders im here to tell you i was in the same boat .............. little back ground on el Muerte .....so ....... growing up in the older area of provo utah ..... i didnt have many kids my age i could hang out with ...... which obviously gave me one option ......... fighting with my brothers ..i was big boned ........ i was over weight ........ ok ok ....... i was fat ....... no way around me ....... i mean...... no way around it ....... i was the second heaviest kid in the 6th grade .............. and ........... the cutest freaking girl in the sixth grade was writting me cutesy letters about wanting to know if i liked her as more than just a friend ...... and valentines stuff .......... and she would ask me to dance in class and .......... any who ..................... guys .......... i was this short brown round butter ball......... and i still got the hottie in the class ......i was shy ... but the girls saw that as dark and mysterious ............ you know why ?............ i understood the secret .............. way back in the day ...................... middle school .............. i was a little less confidant ............ due to every other kid having a six pack .............. and i didnt like to run ........... i loved eating ........ and eating ........... and eating .............high school .......... i had my run with the ladies ............... i hardly if ever .............. asked a girl out .............. there was the random girl here and there ........on a blind date i totally was shocked ........... finally a girl who i thought was a ten ......so i was smooth ......... on the date ...... i didnt have it planned ......... i went with her older sister who worked with my mom ............ and her man .....i was pretty nervous but kept things chill ......... we had dinner at brick oven and she asked if something smelt strange ..... honestly thinking back .... i probably had nervous gas ...... but she and i were trying to find this smell at the table ...... and i totally pulled it out of my back pocket ...... i said oh i've been at this table before ......... its that part of the wall ..... trust me ..... its a strange smell ....... so there she is just sniffing the wall ....... while i look at her sister and everyone just starts laughing ......... she did as well ........ so.....gave it a couple of days then called her ..and i sealed the deal ... then she was my first real girlfriend ........... my senior year ............ wow she was everything ............... i felt like we had a mutual growing experience ............. helped each other .................... being yourself around a cute girl is essential ............ and if you have a hard time being yourself ....... fake it til you make it ............ im not saying be someone else .................. but the ladies dont like it when you dont have a good self image .......... come on man ........ think about it ........ do you want to be around someone who is negative about their self or others the entire time gripping about crap that doesnt ever matter ?.......... no ! why the hell would you waste your time like that ?.............. there are more fish in the sea ............. especially here in UTAH ........ land of the honeys

also guys ......... stop freaking creeping the girl out by being too touchy .......... if you are not to first base ............... stop trying to act like you are at 3 rd base ............. holy hell do you know how many girls i talk to that have this issue with guys ?.................... i wont name or count these but it happens .............. thats why you arent getting chics ...........that and if in the middle of the date she turns to you and says ........ i think you are too touchy ............... you'll never get a second chance with her ............ you just screwed yourself man .................. come on ............

we are talking about body language ............ if you to had been talking and she didnt touch your leg or your arm.............. do not touch her ................you will pop her bubble and you'll have to find another girl to strike up a convo with ............

if you are at a movie night at muertes place ................ and the odds are in the favor for you cause there are more girls than guys ...................... dont be creepy and not talk to the girls the entire night then mid movie ask a girl to come cuddle with you on the couch .............. she'll shut you down 9 /10 times ........... you have just either embarrassed her .......or made her close the door for your opportunity to get her number............. you might as well say ........... hey ummmmmmmm i noticed your so hot i want to touch your lips ......... and i was wondering if you are going to be walking to your car alone tonight .......?.......yeah ........ she'll mace you in the face and kick you in your cash and prizes ........

if you dont pay attention to anything im saying here ........... its your fault ............... to come to me and say .............. wow man utah girls suck ........... in colorado ......... if you ask a girl to sit on the couch with you ............. they do it ............... i wish i was back home ............... yeah .......... ummmmmmmmm ... dooder you shoot yourself in the freaking face then you blame it on the girl ?......................... dooder no matter what you look like ............. if you dont freaking have a good happy cheerful friendly attitude ................. noone will want to give thier number out to you ................